Learning...

It's important to learn being ignored. Intentionally or unintentionally, so that your emotion doesn't get disturbed.

Especially to someone that you are really cares and minds about.

At the same time feel the feeling that somebody you had ignored, intentionally and unintentionally.

Hope I could learn the lesson soon enough...

Dreaming...

Is it when a person is tired it's easier to dream? 

I've got a sweet dream last night, I can't deny it's sweet because in the dream it's sweet.

I've saw me and her in a class, she is doing chemistry paper. It's been a long time for me to study bout chemistry so I tried out the paper too.. In between we had lots of sweet talking and interaction playing around like a happy young couple.

Suddenly my mind came across with something, it has been years to a day like this... Almost 8 years... I told her sorry for pushing away from me for 8 years.. And all I saw is she crying...

Well it's dream... Doesn't have any chance to happen in reality as she was engaged lol... And even if she isn't, I won't get back too... 

Anyway this is the second time within this month to have her in my dream. I really don't know why.. Anyway I hope and I wish she is fine and doing well, always..

I'm sorry

Had a dream last night...

even had a setting out for the scene. LoL!

Details forgotten but the sequence was like,

1. Having a vacation trip with secondary school friends at somewhere

2. They went back first then I went back too

3. Appeared at somewhere upstairs of some friend house played some games and heard the friend invited my ex, Leslie to the friend house too

4. Got nervous as the friends went down and I started to pack my own stuff before leaving

5. She came upstairs and saw me packing then quietly leaving, as she always is a kind and considering person she knew I wasn't ready to face her since our breakup. Most probably from my reaction towards her or friends had told her bout how am I dealing with it, escaping.

6. Don't know whether it was the courage in dream, I called her name and asked her to come up. Then apologized to her for what I've did to her these 8 years, blocking her out totally from my life.

7. Then I was awake

Honestly, I'm a coward. I've been thinking bout this few times already but never got the courage to step out reach out to her. Maybe I wasn't ready, I don't know...

I'm sorry to our common friends too, because of me you guys need to tolerate my feeling. I'm grateful you guys are so considerate too, although sometimes fooling me around bout this issue as well which make me so nervous!

Anyway good day for everybody, I wish... Especially Akira Ysabella! U came into the dream too but as a stranger just passing by...too bad bout that.. I hope you be the main character next time, in reality in a good story!

Still, am missing you so much...

The days in the United States shall be your moment of joy... It's nice and should be fun for you... But I can't help myself thinking of you and checking my phone whether your mesegges comes in or not... Any time, every moment I'm thinking about you... I hope, I wish… that you are enjoying and being healthy always! Don't forget to have lots of water too ya!