Out of expectation

What else could I say... 

Now only I know, I'm thinking too hell much bout u... Hoping too much of u...

And now I know I'm nothing for u.. U couldn't even save my phone number, and it's twice...

What else could I say? What more could I expect?

Expression

Had a dream about u last night... Only about u..

Dreamt that u deleted wechat and I got notified by wechat. Somehow in real life wechat doesn't notify a person deleted itself lol... Anyway, felt so sad when I saw the notification.. As wechat is like the only way to get connected to u..

After a moment I saw my phone had an unread message, it's a foreign number and after I open it, it's u! Finally I have your number! 

Then I woke up, lost your number again...

Should I be happy or sad?

My sincere hope, to see you look at you for every expression you have.. Learn and observe, how should I give you warming love.. Melting your heart in my arms...

日有所思

昨天看见了你的微信，你回到了原来的地方。却没回我的信息。

虽然在学习着放下，可是还是一直在想着你在做什么。

真的就夜有所梦了，还是不想看到的。

梦见了你回到的场景，飞机师好像真的比较吸引。没办法只好认命了…

星期六早上，酸溜溜的感觉…

Learning...

It's important to learn being ignored. Intentionally or unintentionally, so that your emotion doesn't get disturbed.

Especially to someone that you are really cares and minds about.

At the same time feel the feeling that somebody you had ignored, intentionally and unintentionally.

Hope I could learn the lesson soon enough...

Dreaming...

Is it when a person is tired it's easier to dream? 

I've got a sweet dream last night, I can't deny it's sweet because in the dream it's sweet.

I've saw me and her in a class, she is doing chemistry paper. It's been a long time for me to study bout chemistry so I tried out the paper too.. In between we had lots of sweet talking and interaction playing around like a happy young couple.

Suddenly my mind came across with something, it has been years to a day like this... Almost 8 years... I told her sorry for pushing away from me for 8 years.. And all I saw is she crying...

Well it's dream... Doesn't have any chance to happen in reality as she was engaged lol... And even if she isn't, I won't get back too... 

Anyway this is the second time within this month to have her in my dream. I really don't know why.. Anyway I hope and I wish she is fine and doing well, always..

I'm sorry

Had a dream last night...

even had a setting out for the scene. LoL!

Details forgotten but the sequence was like,

1. Having a vacation trip with secondary school friends at somewhere

2. They went back first then I went back too

3. Appeared at somewhere upstairs of some friend house played some games and heard the friend invited my ex, Leslie to the friend house too

4. Got nervous as the friends went down and I started to pack my own stuff before leaving

5. She came upstairs and saw me packing then quietly leaving, as she always is a kind and considering person she knew I wasn't ready to face her since our breakup. Most probably from my reaction towards her or friends had told her bout how am I dealing with it, escaping.

6. Don't know whether it was the courage in dream, I called her name and asked her to come up. Then apologized to her for what I've did to her these 8 years, blocking her out totally from my life.

7. Then I was awake

Honestly, I'm a coward. I've been thinking bout this few times already but never got the courage to step out reach out to her. Maybe I wasn't ready, I don't know...

I'm sorry to our common friends too, because of me you guys need to tolerate my feeling. I'm grateful you guys are so considerate too, although sometimes fooling me around bout this issue as well which make me so nervous!

Anyway good day for everybody, I wish... Especially Akira Ysabella! U came into the dream too but as a stranger just passing by...too bad bout that.. I hope you be the main character next time, in reality in a good story!