LoL

Are you really think u are the quality for her? Don't be rediculus lol! Are you going to get laugh by others? LoL!!!

The Chinese said a. Frog that want to eat swans meat! Get lost please! LoL!!

Should know people said thanks for friendship k! WTF getting LoL! 

What's the point of today's story? "My sassy boy"

Remember that u loser!

Shit I shouldn't be jealous, I'm not in that position to be at all, what's the qualification to be? I'm not...

It's two night straight... I've really need to make up my mind about this. My heart you need to stay away from this let the brain do it's work... She is really not for u at all... Please be more practical or else u are getting hurt!

It's 365 since the first time

It's a year since we meet.. Within a year there are lots of fun and nice talking.. Some little minor problem as well...

It's my luck to meet you. 

Hopefully this will be lasting forever :)

Hopefully this will be improving forever too :)

It's you, U A Y. You know who you are :)

PMS

When somebody told u PMS and not in mood, what should u do?

With always that having a message every morning, to suddenly nothing.. what does it means?

Maybe u are right, shouldnt get too attached with someone on the net..

but there is a sentence that u said rooting in my heart which makes me in dilemma.

People come and go, life is just about who is care enough to stay.

I will miss you so much

Thanks for the heartbreaking feeling. First after 9 years 

What's the situation?!

It has been such a long time since last Friday evening... It doesn't feels good to know nothing about your condition... I hope you are doing good doing well and healthy too.. 

The idea that you are ignoring me seems to come into my mind oftenly too... Hope that's not the real situation, but if it is, I hope you could tell me other than ignoring... At least that will kill all of my fake hope.

明年

明年，是妳陪我看烟花吗？

那个妳，还没出现…

可是明年快到了…

当

当不再期望的时候，失望就减少了

当不再奢望的时候，伤感就减少了

当心境改变的时候，好事就增加了

耐心也是个不简单的词呢

Out of expectation

What else could I say... 

Now only I know, I'm thinking too hell much bout u... Hoping too much of u...

And now I know I'm nothing for u.. U couldn't even save my phone number, and it's twice...

What else could I say? What more could I expect?

Expression

Had a dream about u last night... Only about u..

Dreamt that u deleted wechat and I got notified by wechat. Somehow in real life wechat doesn't notify a person deleted itself lol... Anyway, felt so sad when I saw the notification.. As wechat is like the only way to get connected to u..

After a moment I saw my phone had an unread message, it's a foreign number and after I open it, it's u! Finally I have your number! 

Then I woke up, lost your number again...

Should I be happy or sad?

My sincere hope, to see you look at you for every expression you have.. Learn and observe, how should I give you warming love.. Melting your heart in my arms...

日有所思

昨天看见了你的微信，你回到了原来的地方。却没回我的信息。

虽然在学习着放下，可是还是一直在想着你在做什么。

真的就夜有所梦了，还是不想看到的。

梦见了你回到的场景，飞机师好像真的比较吸引。没办法只好认命了…

星期六早上，酸溜溜的感觉…

Learning...

It's important to learn being ignored. Intentionally or unintentionally, so that your emotion doesn't get disturbed.

Especially to someone that you are really cares and minds about.

At the same time feel the feeling that somebody you had ignored, intentionally and unintentionally.

Hope I could learn the lesson soon enough...

Dreaming...

Is it when a person is tired it's easier to dream? 

I've got a sweet dream last night, I can't deny it's sweet because in the dream it's sweet.

I've saw me and her in a class, she is doing chemistry paper. It's been a long time for me to study bout chemistry so I tried out the paper too.. In between we had lots of sweet talking and interaction playing around like a happy young couple.

Suddenly my mind came across with something, it has been years to a day like this... Almost 8 years... I told her sorry for pushing away from me for 8 years.. And all I saw is she crying...

Well it's dream... Doesn't have any chance to happen in reality as she was engaged lol... And even if she isn't, I won't get back too... 

Anyway this is the second time within this month to have her in my dream. I really don't know why.. Anyway I hope and I wish she is fine and doing well, always..

I'm sorry

Had a dream last night...

even had a setting out for the scene. LoL!

Details forgotten but the sequence was like,

1. Having a vacation trip with secondary school friends at somewhere

2. They went back first then I went back too

3. Appeared at somewhere upstairs of some friend house played some games and heard the friend invited my ex, Leslie to the friend house too

4. Got nervous as the friends went down and I started to pack my own stuff before leaving

5. She came upstairs and saw me packing then quietly leaving, as she always is a kind and considering person she knew I wasn't ready to face her since our breakup. Most probably from my reaction towards her or friends had told her bout how am I dealing with it, escaping.

6. Don't know whether it was the courage in dream, I called her name and asked her to come up. Then apologized to her for what I've did to her these 8 years, blocking her out totally from my life.

7. Then I was awake

Honestly, I'm a coward. I've been thinking bout this few times already but never got the courage to step out reach out to her. Maybe I wasn't ready, I don't know...

I'm sorry to our common friends too, because of me you guys need to tolerate my feeling. I'm grateful you guys are so considerate too, although sometimes fooling me around bout this issue as well which make me so nervous!

Anyway good day for everybody, I wish... Especially Akira Ysabella! U came into the dream too but as a stranger just passing by...too bad bout that.. I hope you be the main character next time, in reality in a good story!

Still, am missing you so much...

The days in the United States shall be your moment of joy... It's nice and should be fun for you... But I can't help myself thinking of you and checking my phone whether your mesegges comes in or not... Any time, every moment I'm thinking about you... I hope, I wish… that you are enjoying and being healthy always! Don't forget to have lots of water too ya! 

Missing you

Since the night u told me u are leaving Singapore tomorrow, the Wednesday night… I've been missing u so so much… I have no where to express my feeling other than spamming ur wechat… what I've got, it's only ur wechat account… feeling so insecure because I don't have any other method to know how are you… all the best for your summer holiday… missing you…

Another thing, I've told some of our story to one of my close friend. She said the probability that you will meet me is 40%… I wonder why and but she predict it correctly, I've got the 60%… sadly :(

Too confident?

Am I too confident about how you feel? Am I the one that only desperately wana reach out? 

Now you are so near to me... Yet I can't even meet you...

I had wasted the chance... Do disappointed to myself… 

I've been really excited when I know u are in Singapore… I was really hoping our meeting will bring us forward to closer and deeper relationship… 

Maybe my time is wrong...

Roller coaster day

I'm not receiving messages since yesterday evening till today morning. I'm thinking she might be not happy with something about me because she didn't greet me in the morning even I greeted her first...

Something is going on and roller coster started.. 

I've mentioned, I will not leave u away when this is happening...no matter what's the cause is.

Luckily we went through it today, and it's not easy... But I still don't know what happened..

Another good thing is, u missed me too... I'm so flattered :) normally it's my line, today u are telling me the same :)

I shall call it a progress :)

Later 3am, flight to hk. I pray for your safe journey and blissful vacation with dad and sis. 

It means u are coming to Singapore soon too...I'm so anxious bout it lol! My poor English argh...

Sour heart

Yesterday, you posted a photo for chibikun, I felt sourly hearted..

Yesterday, we didn't chat in the night, I felt sourly hearted too...

This morning, have u not waked? Normally u woke, again, my heart, sourly...

The movie became boring...

The entertainment show isn't entertaining...

Nothing feels right...

Distance

Some says distance wouldn't be a problem…

With distance, I couldn't see u, touch u, feel u and comfort u…

I couldn't company u when u are down, when u feel pain, when u are happy or to a dinner, movie...

Enjoy your movie Rurouni Kenshin : Kyoto inferno and ur date..

I know I'm far I know it's impossible... What I can do, it's only a hope...

Have a great and excited day Ms. A

The advantages

Always, the advantages is not on my side... You could just leave if you want but I can't... Probably it's my one side feeling while u are thinking differently..

I guess it's because my preference of a person which is smarter, better, nicer from inside out. So these group of people are always been given compliments, attention, love and cares (I guess, cause obviously I'm not one of this group). 

I know, you doesn't care bout what others are thinking bout you.. I've heard u telling how many guys had been turned down.. I know a bunch of admirers are going for you too.. Including me which I haven't mention it clearly..

I know, anytime you could just block and delete me.. Yes, I know what's your name, looks, what are u studying, favorite color, foods, family member and condition, so? It's not big deal at all... Everything could be nothing any moment...

Anyway, I'll try my best for this time... If it's a failure, I'm sure it's going to hurt but I will not be disadvantage anymore, might just stay as now it should be, single. I'm tired honestly, but I still hope for my own family...

Heart racing!

Omg my heart is racing!

It has been a while to feel like this...

I really don't know, I really not sure about what u feel... Maybe to u I'm just an ordinary online friend...

I've been struggling..whether to call or not...it makes me super nervous! Part if it was I worried I'll make u feel I'm a bored guy..and not knowing what to say! Argh!! I'm so nervous that I couldn't sleep -.-!! And that's not an improvement! Going to try again in the day..must!!

Wait for me Ms. A, I'm coming!

Lol, in the end it's unable to call...the feature was disabled I guess :)

Good luck!

Exam is near for A… and she is nervous :D

Good luck and all the best! I can't help you anything although I wanted so much… you will do it well and fine :) then there goes your summer holiday! Enjoy ur exam and enjoy ur holiday too! I'll be waiting for u to be back...

Confidence

Yesterday 28th June, a busy day for you... early morning house work, evening school stuff, late evening gathering with mates...

Maybe I have not grow, maybe I am still immature... I am jealous about you, joking about being mistress to a famous footballer...

I guess it is so childish...I need to grow...

My confidence about this, fade somehow when you told me, all you want i dont care.

I dont know... maybe it isnt what i think...but I hope, I will have clear picture soon...

Goodnight A

I miss you in my dream A, I hope much for you to be in my life. I don't know how will it be in future, but I will try to figure out. A lot has been imagined in my mind, the sweets and beautiful stories... I hope dreams come true. I hope you are thinking the same...

I Hope..

U A Y

祝我生日快乐

生日快乐。

跟往年不同。 今年多了一份期待感，也多了一份失落感…

以前都没想过和家人以外的人庆祝的日子，今天，今年却想着妳…

虽然妳已经告诉了我，这一天妳不在。昨晚没了你的动静，今早也没了你的信息。我的心被你的一举一动牵动着…

失落感的生日，好好的过吧…

幸福的女人

我在想，物质上可能我的能力还是不足…不过心灵上情绪上，我都想让你成为

“最幸福的女人”

在生活上小心仔细的照顾你…虽然有难度，文化语言距离的差别…希望我们能一步步度过，一起度过 :) 

一起加油啦～ 

一失足

昨天她生气了…为了我说的 

＂你很美，所以我会不好意思靠近你＂

生气了…威力还真不小…

先入为主的误解了我的意思也不接受我的解释…

这种感觉好像是情侣可是事实上还只是朋友…是不是恋人未满的关系呢？

不过还是影响了我的思绪心情…心里一直觉得难受…

距离的关系，我真的什么都不能做…

A小姐，别生气了…好吗？

Gambarimas!gambateh!

每次心情不好才来写，不行哦…

最近进展还不错呢…不过这两天好像忙课业考试…

希望妳事事顺利啦…忙也要好好照顾自己啊…

真希望世上有瞬间移动这技能，那我就可以照顾你了…

虽然不知道会发展到怎样，目前还是蛮好的 :)

虽然是上课的时候顺便作的画，还是谢谢你啦 :)

画得真好，我很欣赏的呢:)

那画，Facebook里上载了:)

希望妳身体健健康康，心情愉愉快快啦！ 希望上个星期六的检查一切正常！

Moving moving

When I see your photos, my heart began to miss you... How should I don't miss you? Could you teach me? A小姐? 

Although it's seems to be impossible case, but I can't stop imagining how our future will be...

We are far apart, having different culture, different living environment, different languages, some gap of ages, and you are so talented, kind, generous and totally awesome... Just like a shining star looks so shiny and beautiful but can't touch it...

Since last Tuesday you had not being actively reply my msgs... I was wondering maybe you are busy, maybe you had started to feel I'm irritating, annoying or boring... Maybe I shouldn't disturb you anymore... But I couldn't help myself checking my phone for your msgs... Maybe it's time to get back to the reality... I hope you don't shy to tell me that you want me to get out of ur way.. Then I could totally walk away from you... If that's what you wish, I'll do it for you... I'll try my best...

Goodnight reality...

合适

怎样才能合适呢？

有感觉可是好像不合适…

有感觉可是好像很多障碍…

最利的矛可不可以穿过最硬的盾呢？ 

再见了…

今天看到家里的大狗躺在路上的照片…心，疼了…

今天才明白为什么爱狗的人会那么疼他们的狗…它们融入了家人的生活，已经是一家人了…

看着它从小狗长大，感情也建立了…

以后它不会扑向我了…不会再把头放在我的脚上了…不会再让我把脚放在它的背了…不会再躺着让我抓身上的狗虱了…不会再跟我玩追逐游戏了…

情人节

今年的情人节，感觉比以前孤独…心里特别酸…

是不是单身太久了？

情侣朋友们，你们要好好珍惜缘分啊。

To all, happy valentine's day.

To my valentine, have a blissful day...