I've thought that...

I've thought that I don't mind about you much anymore.. I don't miss you much anymore...

In fact it's cheating myself.. 

Time will maybe help me to fade you out of my mind.. Maybe...

Take good care Ysabella.. I wish you enjoy your summer with family much.. 

Tired

I am feeling so tired.. I feel like to giv up.. Feeling the power of distance, reality and culture... Is it going to end soon? Is it fruitless? Or it's not even rooting, with a seed planted in wrong soil...

I'll just keep my greetings... It's up to you, not me... Again, the only window I have it's still the same... The only person In my heart, she is still the same... Since we've meet, since the past two winter...

And there, where is my point

It's the Qing Ming festival today.. Since grandpa had passed away I haven't got a chance to do cleaning at his "house" yet.. Dad is doing every year though.. 

By the way I've just got back from Taiwan.. It's a business trip for company training.. Training was bored but night market was fine.. But then something is different that disturbed my heart.. And only a few person that I care about that would disturb my mind or emotion.. This time or recently it's just she, Akira Ysabella.. What is going through her these days, I really don't know cause she don't really like to share with me.. But I'm sure something had happened.. Why? Because she is acting so cool.. Like an iceberg.. I don't know if it's me or what.. Anyway I'm trying.. Like I always do.. But pushing too hard brings huge negative impact so I am trying my best.. 

I really hope that I'm just walking distance to her location.. With that I could do more.. Not just a few cold emotionless sentences..

But everytime, I'm only able to hope.. When could I translate my talks into action.. I felt I'm a failure when I couldn't act what I've told.. I'm sorry..

Halfway

It's half way of your finals… I can't wait you to complete it cos I wana tell you I'm coming to Japan soon! My Taiwan trip too had been confirmed which is 30th and return by 3rd.. 

Anyway glad to know you had been doing well these days :) 

Hope the remaining days you will be doing better and better! Keep the high spirit and just do it! Good luck!

White valentines

It's the white valentine, I've hope so much to giv you a box of sweet chocolate... I've hope so much that at least you have a little bit feeling as mine... 

I've hope so much, for you to be happy..

Looks like I've always did the other way round... Pissing you off and telling me to shut up for so many times...I've did something that always upsetting you...

And next week it's your finals... I hope it doesn't disturb your studies... I wish you to graduate with flying marks.. With superb result, make dad and ur family proud.. And I'll be proud for you too... Although i doesn't stand a place for it.. But I do feel proud for your achievements..

It has been such a long time, not having ur early greetings... Without those, it's a bad start of a day... I'll bear with it... It's my problem after all... All the time I've told you, I'm missing you, it's true... I've been checking phone constantly for your notifications... When I missed it I feel so bad, I've missed a chance to talk... Everytime it's important to me... 

Today I'd purposely not texting you, not liking your post... I hope with that I won't distract your attention, or maybe I never so it's effortless.. It's good to know you are happy with chocolates from dad and sensei.. Glad to know that.. Sincerely, I wish u the best to be happen in ur life..

The great happiness, most blissful lady to be in the world.. And I wish that's you... Happy white Valentine's Day! To you the sweetest, kindest, beautiful, elegant, cute lady ever.. Akira Ysabella..

I'm so sorry, for all bad things, negative emotions that I've brought to you... I'm sorry...

Why?? Why???

I don't know... How and why is this happening... Is the ignore the phone made this happen? I just wanted u to have rest earlier so your body could get enough rest.. I just wanted u to be fit and health... I just wanted you to be fine...

:(((

I've tried to suppress my feeling that how hurt that you are ignoring, how much that I've missing you...

It's hard.. It's tough...

Because you meant so much to me... Akira..

Chinese New Year eve

It's the festival of the year! Today most of the Chinese family would gather and prepare a huge dinner together... It's not your tradition but I hope it will be lol

Progress is moving quite good recently... Especially during the lovebirds day, Valentine's Day! It's so sweet when I switch on my phone just when I've arrive klia! Especially the pen it's written with "endless love" I hope it does mean it lol :)

May the sweetness of our relationship keeps and growing, I'm waiting, just for you to graduate... Else if I can't I'll split my words soon lol

Ganbarimas my lady!

For you to be

It's fine, I will be ok...

As long as you are happy with it.

At this moment I'm still missing you so much.. 

I wanted to be part of your life, I've wanted you too be part of my life.

Not a bit, partially or quarterly.. But most of it..

I had been hoping, wishing, praying and imagining it will be happen soon...

I've been holding on myself, not to disturb u much these two days... Probably too much of interacting caused u feeling disgusted about me... I don't know...

I've been open, holding no secrets from me myself, except that I've really strong love feeling towards you... I might keep that till you graduate, or forever... 

I've been acting incrediblely cheesy for such a time, guess that had been a clear hint of what I'm feeling... But I just don't know how, when the Cold War begin... I just don't know how should I cheers u back.. I just don't know how, to let you to be open towards me...

Maybe I'm not the person that you will be open freely.. But what I could do is just continueingly being existing in somewhere I could... Till one day, when u decided to have no connection with me, which is surprisingly easy with just few tap..

That's my disadvantage... However... Sigh...

Coincidentally, the radio is singing..

You're beautiful

You're beautiful

You're beautiful, it's true

There must be an angel with a smile on her face

When she thought up that I should be with you

But it's time to face the truth

I will never be with you

What's going on?

Im really worry bout you... What's actually going on?

Your routine has been changing drastically.. Even not going to school... What's really going on? I really do hope you would tell me...

I had told you, I would fly over for u.. But I had no idea on u...

Maybe it's a tough year for your 21st year living, but I hope everything will be fine soon. Real soon! For you and for me...

I really miss you much.. A. Ysabella...

Missing

Seems like it's not the workload busy...

Had been wondering, are you starting to dislike? I've did something wrong?

This feeling, so bad... Don't like it...

Been missing you for weeks...

It takes two to tango. Am I the only one?

To you my sweetheart, UAY

Busy busy schooling

The holiday has came to an end, she is going back to her busy school life while I'm getting back to my not so busy working life... 

Just wish so you to be proceeding well on your studies :)

Will miss ya when you are busy :) keep it up ganbarimas! Yosh!

And yeah, it's you UAY 

Confusing

It's so confusing -.-

The heart of lady is like a needle under deep sea... That's so true!

@.@

2015

Wish all of u, have a good start of the year, awesome ending from 2014!

Tho there's good and bad, happy and sad... It's still uncontrollable to think bout u lol..

So here I wish u will be all fine and sweet :) tho u made me jealous last few days, made me became I immature lol...

I don't know what is waiting in future but I hope someday my wishes towards u will come true :)

Ms. U A Y.  :)